The Magic Hat
Diary Entry.｡◦♡
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Autumn days always remind me of my papaw. He was the warmest person I’ve ever known. The days sitting in the living room surrounded by his nascar figurines watching pbs kids while waiting for school, brown sugar cinnamon pop tart in hand, being able to hear our dog Tinkerbell bark and run around. The Disney magician hat he would always put on my head in the mornings. She was always a very hyper dog, even when she started to get very old. She wasn’t like my papaw, she refused to just lay down and let death take her away.
His death wasn’t pleasant. I remember sitting in the hallway of the hospital after leaving school early. I would just stare at the window and look out with the same song on repeat. I couldn’t tell you the name of the song anymore, my brain made me block it from my memory. It took me forever to go in there and see him. This wasn’t the papaw I always knew. The prankster who was always running around, so full of life. There’s no way this could be the same man who would chase me around the yard with a water gun 3 months ago.
I couldn’t see any of that life he once had. He could no longer lift his head. He passed away 2 days after. It’s been almost 15 years now, and every day I still question if I came in here too late. Was he too out of it by the time I went in there that he didn’t hear me? I’m constantly reminded of my papaw, no matter where I go. I hear his laughter everyone and hear one of his inside jokes.
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